Break Free from “Should”: How One Key Question Clarifies Career Change
Summary. Corporate culture influences professionals when designing, growing and changing careers. This influence creates a pull of what we “should” do keeping us choosing similar roles. Across our careers, we realize we had a career by chance, not by choice. To break the pattern of what you “should” do, Career Coach Jessica Manca offers one key question to help you choose a new path forward.
When I met Marilyn, she was contemplating a career change after 20+ years in the same industry. At the senior level, she had reached the top of the S Curve, no longer motivated by the same work she used to love.
It can be jarring to wake up mid-career and no longer recognize yourself or your purpose.
When that happened to me, it was the catalyst to make a major leap. This leap led to creating a business, writing a book, and reconnecting with myself.
Marilyn's story is common because we're influenced to follow what we "should" do in our careers. Work at highly recognized companies. Climb the ladder. Compare ourselves to peers. Take on more to make more money or worse, do what looks impressive to get ahead.
For her, she admitted she never chose any of the positions she had. She fell into them because they were what others wanted for her. She made safe choices on the path of what she should do.
She realized she wanted to choose where to go next.
The (Corporate) House Always Wins
When you work for a corporation, and this is true for most corporations, you are playing by their rules. You have to follow employee policy and performance standards. Whatever intellectual property you create is not yours to the point you're asked to sign a Non-Disclosure Agreement (NDA).
You are fitting in their world which serves the company’s bottom line and mission. Here’s a great example that I never shared in my book, Finding Passion.
Finding Passion Book Cover: "How to Ask Yourself, 'What do I really want?’" celebrating it’s 10th anniversary.
When I burned out in my career, I worked at a hyper-competitive pace to advance as fast I could. I achieved top performer status that came with five-figure bonuses for my effort. I lived the company values keen to lead quality initiatives and other extracurriculars on top of my full-time role.
Realizing that the Corporate House Always Wins set my plan to leave in motion. It happened the time I asked my Managing Partner to take on new assignments with more impact. It was the first time I expressed that I wanted to "harness my capacity."
I had an idea to introduce leadership coaching to our business transformation accounts. He dismissed the idea and courage it took to ask such a bold request. But why?
His reason was that the firm did not provide coaching services. He added that I would need to move to another region where one guy is trying to build a practice around this. He implied I would no longer be valuable (or billable) to him.
Discovering an Inner Compass
Why had I made the company values my values? It was only then that approach began to backfire when my mission was no longer aligned to the company’s. A wave of unlearning came over me.
What if I had an inner compass to guide me through important decisions?
Fast forward to when I hired an executive career coach to plan a graceful transition and potentially a new career change. During exploration of what the next chapter might look like, our reflective space brought back the memory of the ask to my Partner.
My coach helped me ask one key question that sparked my biggest breakthrough.
What do I really want?
This flywheel is the process for making any personal change. To make change last, you need alignment among your Intentions, Mindset, Values, Passion and Purpose. I call this your Inner Journey Toolkit, part of my book and 1:1 coaching program, Finding Passion.
Self-Discovery and the Key Questions
A few months ago, a video came past my LinkedIn feed that I had never seen before. It's an interview with Oprah and Trevor Noah. What's amazing is that the same key question Oprah shares is on my book cover.
My coach helped me ask myself something I never would have thought to on my own.
She helped me ask myself, “What do I really want?”
It was then that I embraced what my younger Self was trying to ask for that day. What if I take all these skills and talents and harness my potential? What if I reach more kinds of transformations than business ones?
It’s hard to ask ourselves the difficult questions. When we do, we gain clarity.
There are some things we must self-discover the answers to. A few weeks later I resigned from the firm. My coach and I planned my transition and next steps. I felt completely free to unlearn the rules and expectations where the Corporate House Always Wins.
A Managing Director stopped me in the hallway on my last day in the downtown office and said, “Why are you still working? Isn’t today your last day here? If I were you, I’d be checked out by now.” I replied, “Yes! It is, and that’s not how I want to go out.”
If you're on the path to finding your passion, this question keeps you staying true to yourself. Set an intention to ask yourself the deep questions and let go of what others think you “should” do. Take action to move forward!
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